Very recently, a man opened a can of worms about his marriage that ended not too long ago on social media.
It was such a chaotic unveiling that left most people wondering what exactly went wrong in the marriage.
He was more focused on calling some of his friends out, as he felt betrayed by them.
From the things he wrote about them, it was clear that they took the side of his wife in the divorce saga.
Those his friends in turn, wrote publicly in defence of their actions and inactions.
After reading through all the exchanges, every unbiased person on that thread had one thing to say…
One of the things that contributed to the failure of the marriage was the constant involvement of third parties in it.
He constantly exposed his relationship with his wife to the opinion of his friends and other outsiders.
And that brings me to the topic of discourse.
There are things about your relationship you should never share with your friends.
In every friendship circle, there’s always an unwritten rule of confidentiality.
It makes us feel comfortable enough to open up to our friends about what’s going on with us.
But when it comes to our romantic relationships, there are things that should stay with us for them to remain ‘secret’.
Those are the things we’ll be discussing in this article.
Enjoy the read!
8 Things About Your Relationship You Should Never Share With Your Friends
I understand that you want to share everything about yourself with your friends.
However, you need to draw the line when it comes to your relationship.
There are some things you need to keep away from the public, including your friends.
Let those things stay in-house, between you and your partner, and possibly your kids.
Here they are:
1. You or your partner’s weaknesses
Top on the list of things about your relationship you should never share with your friends is you or your partner’s weaknesses.
No one is perfect.
And that’s more reason why you should guard you and your partner’s imperfections jealously.
Instances of such imperfections include being an introvert, habitual procrastination, constant overthinking, being stubborn and impatient, and so on.
Even the good book says that ‘The heart of man is desperately wicked’.
While there are still true and good friends out there who are looking out for you, people change in tremendous ways, and they don’t need your permission to do so.
By exposing your weaknesses, you don’t know who exactly you’re making yourself and your partner vulnerable to.
What if they use that piece of information against you?
There are so many what ifs, and they can be avoided only when you’re tight lipped about the weaknesses of yourself and your partner.
2. You or your partner’s shortcomings
Different people have different deal breakers in relationships.
While you might be able to forgive cheating, settle amicably with your partner, and move on from it together, I can’t.
Simply because it’s one of my deal breakers.
Now, imagine what happens when you share your partner’s mistreatment towards you with your friends.
For instance, it might be anger issues, telling lies, cheating, or any other transgressions.
This is something you’re both willing to work on and through, to proceed with the relationship.
Honestly, spilling to your friends will only take you ten steps backward from the progress you’ve made.
Especially if you were on the receiving end of these maltreatments, they’ll give you a million and one reasons to make you see how much of a horrible person your partner is.
They’ll probably throw in a word or two about you leaving your partner.
It’s highly likely that y’all don’t have similar deal breakers.
So, why put your partner on the chopping block for them to do as they please?
What sharing with them does is to resurrect or reveal fresh perspectives on how much hurt you were put through.
If you start dwelling on it, you’ll find yourself stalling the process of forgiveness, healing, and possible reconciliation.
Remember that you were very much open to those with your partner before you shared it with your friends.
3. Things you haven’t shared with your partner
I’m not referring to just about anything.
One of the things about your relationship you should never share with your friends are those things that concern your partner, that you’ve not yet shared with them.
Perhaps you feel like they’re overly dependent on you, act irrational sometimes, talk without thinking, or any other thing that is a source of concern and worry about them to you.
You’re probably thinking of the best way to present it to them without causing issues between both of you.
That’s why you went to your friend(s) to tell you the best way forward.
Wrong move!
Anything that you have to say to your partner, and you’re yet to say it or have a conversation with them about it is off limits to other people.
They are your partner, aren’t they?
Talking to them shouldn’t be too much of a hassle for you.
If you have anything to say to them, simply find the best time and mood to open up to them about it.
Sharing with your friends in this case is a big no no.
4. Money issues in your relationship
For the longest time, money has been a sensitive topic, especially to people who do not have a lot of it at their disposal.
When you’re having money issues in your relationship, it’s something that should be kept between you and your partner.
Let’s say you’re in debt and trying to offset it.
It could also be that you’re trying to cultivate a new saving habit to help you grow your finances.
There’s absolutely no need for any external interference as it’s solely your business.
This is one of the situations where you both come together as a team to figure out something that works for you.
Even if you feel like you need the input of an external person, let it be a finance professional who isn’t your friend.
Spilling your money issues to your friends is one of the quickest ways to betray the trust your partner has in you.
Don’t do it.
5. Explicit pictures and videos
I intentionally didn’t place it at the top three things about your relationship you should never share with your friends because it’s a no brainer.
Everyone should know better than share their partner’s explicit pictures and videos with other people.
Come on!
There’s a reason that don’t need to always include the ‘For your eyes only’ tag whenever they’re sharing such things with you.
And that’s because they feel safe and comfortable enough to share them.
They trust that you’ll protect them.
Please don’t do otherwise by sharing it with your friends.
Their major intent is to spice things up with you, and not to be a topic of discussion whenever you meet up with your squad.
6. How your partner feels about them
In the history of sharing too much, I don’t think there’s anything as unnecessary as telling your friends that your partner doesn’t really enjoy their company.
Last I checked, they’re your friends and not your partner’s.
As long as everyone acts mature and civil whenever there’s need for a general hangout, it’s cool.
But it’s not a big deal if your partner doesn’t like your friends very much.
7. Things your partner confided in you about
Never should you ever talk about the things your partner confided in you about to other people.
It’s on the list of things about your relationship you should never share with your friends.
Whatever your partner told you in confidence is top secret, and you should treat it as same.
They see you as their safe space to whom they can talk about anything and everything, without fear of being judged, or hearing it from someone else.
When you breach the confidentiality, the trust they have in you will be broken.
It’ll make them become closed off from you.
That’s the genesis of secrets, lies, and resentment between partners in a relationship.
To avoid that, you have just one job — keep your partner’s safe space safe for them.
8. What happens in the bedroom
One of the most vulnerable things someone can engage in is being sexually intimate with another person.
Whatever happens in the bedroom with your partner should remain between both of you.
I feel that talking about your sexual life with your friends reduces the mystery, fun, and thrill you get from being with your partner.
It probably reduces how much value you place on those intimate gestures and moments.
Your friends do not need to know if you’re gentle or wild in bed, as well as how long you can go with your partner.
Please keep it to yourself.
All that matters is that you and your partner enjoy yourselves, and are happy with the intimacy.
