Not every cheater outright denies it when they’re caught.
Some might own up, apologize, and try to make amends.
There are some others who will rather give a million and one excuses to justify, rather than take responsibility for their actions.
I’ve had some people ask how to know when their partner is cheating on them.
I always have one answer for them.
The moment you suspect that they’re cheating, they most likely are.
And it doesn’t matter if on the outside, they haven’t given you any reasons to doubt them.
The chances of your suspicion being true are high, as instinct almost always never lies.
Now, if you’ve acted on your suspicion and found out that your instinct was right, you need to brace up for what’s to come.
It’s true that the hurt of betrayal stings to the heart’s core.
But what will hurt more is your betrayer looking you in the face and telling lies, or even giving flimsy excuses to justify their irrational behavior against you.
You now understand why you should brace yourself.
In this article, we’ll be looking at the different things cheaters say when caught.
Prepare to hear tons of apologies and probably see efforts to make things right with you.
On the other hand, don’t be surprised if they turn around and try to pin their actions on you.
Without wasting further time, let’s get right to it.
8 Things Cheaters Say When Caught
1. You’re imagining things
One of the typical reactions of a cheater to being caught is gaslighting.
An unrepentant cheater will squarely deny the obvious that’s right in front of them.
Then, they’ll back it up with more lies.
For instance, expect them to say things in these lines:
‘We’re just friends.’
‘Nothing happened between us.’
‘You’re just imagining things.’
‘It’s obvious that you don’t trust me. Now, you’re projecting your insecurities on me. To be honest, that’s not fair to me.’
‘What are you talking about? I didn’t cheat on you! That’s a figment of your imagination.’
Wow!
Cheaters who fall into this category are very creative with their lies.
If your mental health is not strong enough, they can toy with it so bad with their lies.
In the end, you’ll find that you’re questioning yourself, what’s real, and what you actually saw.
You might even end up apologizing to them for ‘not trusting them’ and ‘seeing things that are not there’.
2. We didn’t have sex
Yes!
One of the things cheaters say when caught is that they didn’t have sex with the affair partner.
They say it not only to defend themselves at the time of the accusation, but also to make light of the accusation.
I came across an anonymous message sometime ago on Facebook.
The message was written by a lady who sounded distressed over her husband’s activities with another woman.
According to her, her husband was having a serious emotional affair with another woman.
They exchanged texts, chats, and calls like normal lovers.
To make matters worse, they engaged in video chats where they exchanged explicit pictures and videos of each other.
His new-found relationship had affected not just the dynamics of, but also his presence in the home.
He was no longer available to her and the kids, and had drastically reduced the way he provided for them.
It was always from one excuse to the other, till she was pushed to make her findings about what was really going on with him.
The wife believed that if distance wasn’t a barrier between her husband and his mistress, they would have long slept with each other.
I went to the comment section of the post, and it was a mess.
Guess what people were telling her?
I’ll paraphrase some of the responses that stood out for me:
‘You should be happy that they’ve not had sex. It means that you still have your husband to yourself.’
‘It’s just a phone thingy and you shouldn’t be worried about that. I feel like you’re worrying about nothing.’
‘All this rants for a man who didn’t even cheat properly…’
Emotional cheating
That brings me to my point.
What exactly do people mean when they say that someone didn’t cheat properly?
Is cheating proper in the first place?
There’s something called emotional cheating, and it carries as much weight as physical cheating.
Investing and bonding emotionally with another person at the expense of your partner is full-blown cheating.
So, don’t go around expecting to get a pat on the back simply because you didn’t have ‘physical sex’ with someone who isn’t your partner.
What you did is just as bad.
So, if a cheater comes with the line that, ‘Oh, we didn’t have sex’, shut them down immediately.
School them, and let them know that they are just as guilty as the person who had sex.
3. You no longer have time for me
Excuses, and more excuses.
Those are what a typical unrepentant cheater has when they’re caught.
One of the things cheaters say when caught is that their partners no longer have time for them.
They’ll say things like:
‘You’re always busy with work these days, and it caused us to drift apart.’
‘You no longer have time for me.’
‘Recently, you can’t seem to be able to make out time for me, for us.’
Lame excuses these are, if you ask me.
Don’t forget that a cheater is in a relationship with a fellow human being.
They would have chosen to communicate their displeasure about the turn of events in the relationship.
After all, effective communication is key to every healthy and successful relationship.
Even if their partner can’t cut down their work time and load, both of them can reach a compromise and agree on something that works for them.
But, no.
A cheater decides to take the easy (or should I say the difficult) way out.
They choose to cheat instead of communicating with their partner.
4. I felt that you no longer loved me
More excuses.
Don’t be surprised, because it comes naturally to cheaters.
In this case, we’re exposed to the dangers of abuse of communication in a relationship.
Among the things cheaters say when caught is this line – ‘I felt that you no longer loved me.’
Let’s pretend to take their word for it for a second.
Since it’s a feeling, shouldn’t it be shared with the person they’re in a relationship with?
What stopped them from doing so before deciding to have something intimate with another person?
In a relationship, it’s expected that the individuals share their thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, dreams, visions, and every other ‘sharables’ with their significant other.
When someone fails to do that and instead, goes on to have fun with someone else, it’s assumed that they always had it in mind to ‘look outside’.
A relationship is a big deal, and if you feel a drop in the energy or vibe of your partner, you should be concerned.
Your first line of action should be to have a conversation with them about your observations, and see if you can work through it together.
Having such conversations unlocks many doors and changes so many things for better in the relationship.
Even if you decide to go your separate ways, it’s for the better because you no longer have to waste your time, or cheat on your partner.
Now, a cheater didn’t have any conversation with their partner and just acted on their feelings.
Who knows if they actually felt anything in the first place.
Due to a cheater’s actions, we’re taking everything they say with a pinch of salt.
5. I love you, not them
‘I don’t love them. It’s you that I love.’
The above statement is one of the things cheaters say when caught.
In my opinion, they make the statement to cushion the effect of the cheating on their actual partner.
But that statement has been known to only make matters worse.
No one intentionally hurts their loved ones.
However, a cheater goes through the whole nine yards of cheating, and still claims to love their partner.
So, what does love really mean to them?
They might even say:
‘It was just sex. It meant nothing to me.’
Like it’s meant to make their partner feel better after being cheated on.
Sex isn’t ordinary.
It’s actually a big deal, and should be treated as such.
So, saying that they don’t love their affair partner, or that it didn’t mean anything to them doesn’t fly.
6. It was an accident
An accident?
Lmao.
Cheating has and will never be an accident.
It’s always premeditated.
From the exchange of flirty calls, text messages, suggestive chats, and hanging out to get comfortable with each other, every step is intentional.
The steps listed above are already emotional cheating, even before they decide to be intimate sexually.
There are people who will claim that one-night stands are accidental, but I don’t think so.
At every point of trying to ‘get down’ with that person, you had two choices – walk away or continue.
A cheater chooses to continue and when caught, claims that it was an accident.
Oh please!
7. I’m sorry
One of the things cheaters say when caught is ‘I’m sorry’.
Some of them apologize genuinely and are willing to do whatever it takes to right their wrong.
That trust has been broken already and so, it’ll take a lot of work to get back on track.
However, most cheaters only apologize for getting caught, and not for cheating.
They deeply regret getting caught.
What it does to them is to be more creative with their cheating schemes so that they’ll not be caught again.
8. It won’t happen again
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
When a cheater is caught, there’s a high probability that they’ll cheat again.
Except they decide to quit the habit by themselves, no one can make them.
So, don’t feel relaxed if you catch your partner cheating and they promise that it won’t happen again.
I’ll advise you to take that with a pinch of salt and brace yourself.
While you hope that they’re truly going to change for better, at the same time, prepare for the worst from them.
