There’s no marriage that’s without flaws, and that’s because of the individual differences between couples.
From time to time, there’ll be disagreements and complaints over the way some things play out in a home.
It all boils down to communication.
But in a marriage that has spanned years, without conscious efforts, communication too, will take a nosedive.
In the absence of effective communication between a couple about their displeasures with each other, unhappiness will sneak in.
I was listening to a random conversation between two men sometime ago.
One of the men told the other to go home and make his wife happy because, ‘A happy wife equals to a happy home’.
In this post, we’ll be delving into the top complaints from unhappy wives.
Most times, it’s women who do the most for the orderliness and smooth-running of the home.
They carry their homes on their backs, literally and figuratively.
In the same vein, when they’re unhappy, the actions and inactions of their husbands are behind it.
What are these top complaints from unhappy wives?
How To Identify The Top Complaints From Unhappy Wives
When someone (in this case, a woman) talks about something that makes them uncomfortable with their spouse and nothing is done about it, their next action will be to keep it in and resent their partner.
Either that, or they’ll resort to confiding in their friends and loved ones about the issue(s).
Some people prefer opening up to a therapist.
It doesn’t matter who these women choose to open up to about the causes of their unhappiness.
The bottom line is that most of the time, their issues are common and almost typical.
They’re things that have been happening for a long time with other women, and they’ll definitely not be the last ones to experience such.
Without further ado, let’s look at the top complaints from unhappy wives.
Top Six Complaints From Unhappy Wives
1. He doesn’t listen to me
One of the top complaints from unhappy wives about their husbands is that these men do not listen to them.
Communication is a very important part of every relationship.
But if it’s not maintained intentionally over time, it’ll breakdown.
And when the communication between a couple breaks down, it’ll lead to many problems that could have been avoided in the first place, if they paid attention to it.
For instance, a woman who feels that her husband doesn’t listen to her might have to talk about a particular thing countless times before he implements it.
Sometimes, he might not even do it, after all the talks about it.
And it can be annoying, frustrating, and painful that your significant other no longer listens to you.
On the man’s part, he’ll say that his wife has started nagging.
The solution is simple.
Couples who find themselves in similar situations should have heartfelt conversations about communication.
Whenever it starts to look like nagging wants to find its way back into the marriage, I think the other party should pause and actually listen to what their spouse has to say.
Being seen is one thing.
Feeling heard is another.
It won’t be bad for one’s spouse to feel both ways.
A marriage is a world of two imperfect people who are constantly working towards being better versions of themselves.
So, yea.
You can have it all in marriage.
And by ‘all’, I’m referring to the best behaviors of your spouse.
2. He no longer sees me
This complaint is common with unhappy wives when they feel that their husbands no longer pay them compliments.
Women are usually moved by what they hear and men, by what they see.
So, a man might start off with complimenting his wife regularly in the early years of their marriage.
As time goes on, he might get too comfortable and start reducing the rate at which he pays her compliments.
From reducing it, he stops altogether.
In my opinion, it’s nothing to be unhappy or fight about.
As a woman whose husband is slacking in paying her compliments, it’s in your hands to get him back on track.
Speak with him about it.
Let him know that his compliments bring you so much joy and make you feel seen, loved, and valued.
Then, try to engage him and make him be aware of your outfits.
You can ask him what he thinks of a piece of jewelry, pair of shoes, dress, or even hairstyle on you.
Whether you initiated it or he did, take his compliments all in.
Do it regularly and soon enough, he won’t be needing any reminders to pay you compliments, even if you think that you’re not looking your best on that day.
3. He doesn’t understand me
A wife can be unhappy in her marriage if she feels like her husband doesn’t understand her.
In some way, it’s an extension of the first point.
Stay with me.
Women are wired differently from men.
When a man is listening to anything that seems to be a problem, he’s mentally seeking out ways to solve the problem or make it go away.
Men mostly listen to take care of things.
But sometimes, a woman doesn’t want a solution to the problem.
She just wants to talk to her husband and confidant.
It might be that she can take care of the problem and only wants to let off the steam.
So, while the couple are aware of the problem, they’re having a clash of interests.
While the man is interested in solving the problem, his wife is interested in getting him to just listen to her talk about it.
She doesn’t want him to do anything about it.
If this happens repeatedly, she might conclude that he doesn’t understand her.
4. He’s emotionally unavailable
One of the top complaints from unhappy wives is how their husbands are emotionally unavailable to them.
Emotional availability refers to one’s ability and willingness to be open and present to sharing emotions, feelings, and connections with one’s partner.
The person will also be able to relate with the feelings of their partner.
However, in this part of the world, emotional availability is something that’s a bit far-fetched among men.
The reason is the conditioning that has been given to men for ages.
They are taught from cradle to be brave, uptight, and not show emotions.
The orientation is that any show of emotions translates to weakness on their part.
So, they grow up with the mentality that they always need to put up a hard front and not show any emotions.
They rather take pain all in, and suffer in silence than open up to anyone.
Although some men unlearn the process when they get exposed to better life orientations, majority of them are still enslaved to that poor mentality.
When such a man gets married, his wife and children bear the brunt of his emotional unavailability.
He won’t open up to his wife about his thoughts, and feelings.
He’ll also brush her aside and make light of it whenever she shares her feelings with him.
He’s not being mean to her intentionally.
All he needs is to go through the unlearning and relearning process to be able to connect with his wife and become available to her emotionally.
5. He doesn’t help out around the house
To be honest, being a wife and mom isn’t a walk in the park.
In addition to being difficult and challenging, it’s a job that has no end.
Even women who have domestic helps aren’t entirely having it so easy.
There are things that only a mom can do for her children.
For instance, nursing them.
It’s totally normal for a woman to feel helpless with the unending responsibilities that come with being a wife and mom.
Add that to the sleepless nights, disrupted routines, and generally, a lifestyle that has become irregular.
She puts in long hours, as well as physical and mental strength into keeping the home together.
Let’s not talk about the fact that most women still have careers or businesses outside of the household work.
The least her husband can do is to make the burden lighter for her by helping out wherever he can.
Doing the laundry or dishes, cooking meals, minding the children, and taking out the trash are few ways he can help around the house.
However, an unhappy wife probably has a husband who will sit and do nothing around the house.
It’s one of the top complaints from unhappy wives.
He’ll prefer to be on his gadgets whenever he’s at home while his wife slaves away all day.
Then, he’ll still want to have sex with her tired self at the end of the day.
In my opinion, it’s highly unfair to such a woman.
Talking about the dynamics of the home will help to ease the burden off her.
If her husband is unwilling to help, let his money work for him.
They’ll need to hire external helps to handle chores around the house, and give his wife a breather.
6. He doesn’t spend time with me or the kids
This complaint comes mostly from unhappy wives in the traditional family arrangement.
It’s expected that a man who works all day to provide for his family should get enough rest whenever he’s not working.
However, it becomes a problem when his de-stressing starts taking a toll on his relationship with his wife and kids.
It’s understandable when a man is having issues at work and doesn’t want to transfer the aggression to his family members.
He can communicate with his wife about it, and they’ll work around it.
Of course, it shouldn’t last for long before it gets sorted.
However, while making money is important, creating time for the family is more important.
In addition to strengthening the bonds between family members, it fosters tolerance, peace, and unity between them.
So, when an unhappy wife complains that her husband doesn’t spend time with her and the children, it’s a big problem.
Bonding is a crucial part of every healthy and successful family.
