Has the question, ‘Why do some men never marry?’ ever crossed your mind?
Well, it has crossed mine several times, and I’ll tell you what prompted me to write on it.
There’s a very rich man in my neighbourhood who has decided to stay unmarried.
He’s one of the most eligible bachelors in the area, even though he’s way older than most bachelors.
You get my point?
Story has it that he was once married, but the marriage crashed almost as soon as it began.
Since then, many women have come into his life, and they’ve all left as well.
According to the stories, these women usually lose interest in the relationship when he tells them about his decision to remain single, or when they start dating him and realize that he’s actually serious about his resolve to stay unmarried.
The last lady who stirred the kettle of fishes came along with a sinister plan.
They became an item and along the line, she became pregnant.
She announced the news to him, her family, and some of his family members who she had access to.
He was happy, and asked her to keep the pregnancy if she wanted, and that he’ll be with her and the baby every step of the way.
But she didn’t want his support as a boyfriend or lover.
Her intentions was to tie him down with the pregnancy, and force him to marry her.
All hell was let loose.
The man stood on business while the lady invited a thousand and one people to weigh in on the matter.
She kept coming to our area with some of her immediate family members to make trouble and ask the man to do ‘small something’ on her head, but the man didn’t budge.
That single action of his left me thinking deeply – Why do some men never marry?
Why Do Some Men Never Marry?
I had a conversation with some men about the topic of discourse, and they provided insightful answers that we’ll look into.
In this article, we’ll be discussing the different reasons why some men choose to remain unmarried.
Without further ado, let’s get started.
Outlined below are some reasons why some men never marry:
1. Fear of commitment
Everyone has fears at some point in their lives.
For some men, the lingering fear of committing to a woman is the reason why they are unmarried.
They might think that the idea of being committed to only one woman for a long time isn’t feasible.
Or they will probably think that it’s not something they see themselves doing.
Again, there are men who don’t believe in ‘happily ever after’.
They believe that every marriage has a high probability of ending in a divorce.
You already know how most divorce cases turn out – it’s hardly ever peaceful.
A man like that will factor in the financial, emotional, and mental impacts of divorce on his life while cancelling marriage.
2. Independence and freedom
When I posed the question, ‘Why do some men never marry?’, one of the first reasons most men gave was to sustain their independence and freedom.
A man may love his freedom and independence so much that he prefers remaining single to trading those on the altar of marriage.
Some people believe that marriage takes away their independence and freedom, and it’s rightfully so.
Marriage is a union of not just two hearts.
It’s also a joining of two separate lives who are willing to commit and reach compromises for the success and smooth-running of a family.
So it’s expected and not out of place for sacrifices to be made, and middle grounds to be reached in marriage.
But some people (in this context, men) don’t want to go through that for the rest of their lives.
Perhaps they’ve had a sneak peek of how marriage will look like when they were in serious relationships.
They might have compared their single lifestyle to that of when they were boo’d up and discovered that they had more liberty as single men.
The implications
Such a man wants to call the shots totally and run his life by his rules without answering to anyone.
He wants to come back home by 2am and crash into bed without having to bother about freshening up till dawn.
Also, he’ll want to go wherever he wants without giving accounts of his whereabouts, thereby making it look like his woman is controlling him.
He also doesn’t want to be responsible for anyone other than himself.
For the most part, I like to think that this particular reason is mainly sponsored by a man’s ego.
However, what I think doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
What matters is that it’s an answer to the question, ‘Why do some men never marry?’, and a very valid one at that.
3. Finances
Another good reason why some men never marry is the financial responsibilities that come with marriage.
My best friend was recently telling me about a man in his forties who has refused to get married, despite all the advice from concerned people.
When my best friend engaged him in a conversation, all the man was hammering on was the financial implications of getting married.
He was talking about the cost of having a wedding, more mouths to feed, and other added responsibilities.
That man is scared of getting himself into a financial rut that he won’t be able to get out of, just by getting married.
And it’s the main reason why he’s yet to settle down.
According to him, he’s taking care of himself only, and he can barely make ends meet while at it.
It’ll be suicide on his part to try to take on additional responsibilities at this point in his life.
No matter what anyone says, money is an important factor when marriage is on the table.
The love may be there, but money is more important.
An absence or lack of money can choke the love out of the marriage.
Not just money, but financial stability has a way of making a union sweeter.
It’s like icing on the cake, but it’s more important than a literal icing on the cake, if you get what I mean.
4. Previous negative experiences
Past negative experiences in relationships or marriages can also make a man decide to remain single.
A good instance is the rich man in my neighborhood.
He was married once.
Although we don’t know what happened in the marriage, it’s clear that his resolve to not remarry probably came from his experience in the marriage.
So, yeah.
I didn’t argue or doubt it when I asked the question, ‘Why do some men never marry?’ and some men mentioned previous unpleasant experiences as a reason.
It’s very much valid.
