Sometimes, selfishness can be glaring.
You usually see one or two persons who are able to immediately point out any signs of selfishness in people who have them.
It’ll not be unusual for selfish people to want the biggest and best things for themselves alone.
Don’t get me wrong.
Everyone naturally wants the best things for themselves.
But it becomes a problem when wanting the best things also involve things that one doesn’t actually need.
For instance, a grownup picking the biggest piece of iced cake even when they don’t really like iced cakes.
They take it simply because they can, when they can easily leave it for the kids who are present at the gathering.
Being selfish can also manifest as one wanting to always be the center of attention, even when the story isn’t about one.
These are few instances of selfishness that’s not hard to notice.
And then, there’s the subtle kind of selfishness.
It disguises as having good intentions, and can be missed by unsuspecting people.
Even the perpetrators may not know that their actions are selfish.
They might feel that they’re being brave, outspoken, selfless, helpful, or even kind.
However, it’s how their actions rub off on other people that portray it as exactly what it is —selfishness.
Selfishness doesn’t have to be all up in your face to be tagged as one.
It’s revealed in many different ways, and we’re going to be seeing some of them in the course of this article.
As mentioned earlier, there are certain things people do, and don’t even know that they’re being selfish.
You might have encountered some of these actions and wondered if you’re wrong to think of them as selfishness.
Sometimes, these things happen too frequently that you unconsciously brand such a person as selfish.
This piece will serve as your moment of truth.
Lol.
It’ll outline the things selfish people do without realizing it.
Ensure that you read to the end, to get maximum value for your time.
Let’s get right to it.
5 Things Selfish People Do Without Realizing It
1. They do not take responsibility for their actions
Selfish people are fond of not taking responsibility for their actions, especially when things go south.
You’ll hear them brag to the high heavens when things work out according to plans.
However, they change in the twinkle of an eye when things go wrong.
These ones are professionals when it comes to shifting blames.
They blame everyone else but themselves for things going downhill.
Let’s see some instances.
If the food doesn’t turn out well, it’s as a result of bad ingredients.
They blame their lateness to meetings and events on traffic.
When they react harshly to situations that they could have handled better, they’ll say that the complainant is overreacting.
Lmao.
The list is endless.
Sometimes, their blame shifting isn’t a conscious act.
For the greater part, they feel that they’re just explaining what happened.
However, not taking responsibility for their actions is just their refusal to believe that they played a role in the turn of events.
Realizing and owning up to one’s part in how things turned out shows maturity.
It earns one more respect from onlookers.
In addition, it gives one the opportunity to introspect on how they can be and do better, to avoid a repetition of such occurrence gin the future.
2. They depend on validation to function
We all agree that it feels good to be seen and recognized from time to time.
It is an evidence that what we’re doing doesn’t go unnoticed.
However, there are people who want to be constantly seen and recognized.
It may seem as though they can’t function properly without the recognition and encomiums.
That’s one of the things selfish people do without realizing it.
There’s a thin line between enjoying being appreciated, and depending completely on it to function.
As usual, we’ll look at various instances.
Some people love to constantly tell their sob stories to gain sympathy.
In turn, the listeners pour out sympathy and reassure them, in order to maintain or boost their self-esteem.
Other selfish people may outrightly demand to be showered with praises and words of affirmation whenever you cross paths with them.
Doing that isn’t a problem.
The only problem is that they are always on the receiving end.
They never take out time to spare you even the slightest word of encouragement, praise, or recognition.
And the bigger problem?
They ALWAYS demand to be praised.
It can be draining emotionally to you, the giver, because you keep giving without getting anything in return.
That’s such a parasitic relationship as the selfish person is only focused on filling themselves up instead of building a genuine connection with the other person.
3. They constantly steer conversations to be about them
I used to know someone who had a way of steering conversations and making it about them always.
Someone might be complaining about how they’re having a hard time at work, and this person hijacks the conversation out of nowhere.
All of a sudden, y’all are listening to a story about their work escapades.
Please note that the selfishness at play here is mostly unconscious, which makes it one of the things selfish people do without realizing it.
For the selfish people in this category, their major problem is not listening to understand what the other person is saying.
Rather, they listen with the sole aim of replying, which makes it easier for them to deviate from whatever the other person is saying.
Sometimes, they feel that sharing their own stories mean that they relate to the main story.
However, being able to relate to a story takes more than just thinking of a potential response.
It involves actual tuning in, listening, empathizing, and asking questions around the story of someone else.
4. They make light of the feelings of others
Someone once came to vent to me about how selfish a mutual friend was.
When I asked for details of what transpired between them, it was similar to mine and the experience of some other people in the hands of that same person.
The complainant was just late to the party.
It turned out that the selfishness we all experienced was the mutual friend constantly making light of other people’s feelings.
You might be celebrating a win or achievement, and it doesn’t matter how big or small it might seem.
It’s very typical of this person to tone it down as ‘nothing serious’.
In my case, I was over the moon for completing a project that stretched me thin, and I mentioned it to them.
Imagine my shock when they rolled their eyes and said that I was being ‘too dramatic over something that’s so basic’.
Wow!
The words literally hit me squarely in the face as I tried to process it.
I won’t forget to mention how they quickly moved on to talk about something of their own that they considered ‘more tasking and worthwhile’.
One of the things selfish people do without realizing it is brushing off the feelings of others.
It’s about taking the spotlight away from other people and beaming it on themselves.
They might not have bad intentions, but they just can’t get themselves to see how much things they consider ‘random’ means so much to other people.
5. They don’t know how to respect boundaries
A classical characteristic of selfish people is their struggle with respecting boundaries.
In my opinion, one of the highest forms of respect is sticking to set boundaries.
But many selfish people do not know how to take ‘no’ for an answer.
Showing up uninvited, pushing relentlessly even when the other person says that they’re unavailable, and sharing too much information about other people even when they’re clearly uncomfortable with it, are some ways selfish people disrespect boundaries.
It might come off as them being too caring, being free enough to speak their minds, or being persistent.
Even selfish people won’t agree that it’s an act of selfishness, which makes it one of the things selfish people do without realizing it.
However, what’s at play is a clear disregard for set boundaries.
Respecting boundaries is about keeping to what the other person wants, and not doing what you think is best for them.
Are there other things selfish people do without realising it that you think should be on this list?
Please let me know in the comments.
I’ll love to read from you.
