Have you ever been in a bit of a situation where someone strings you along for some time?
Then you discover much later, that they didn’t want to have anything serious to do with you?
It happened to someone I know, and I can tell you that it’s not a good place for anyone to be.
When my person went to their supposed partner to have a conversation about the situation, what he told her broke her heart further.
He used the, ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ line.
And then went on to tell her that he’s not right for her.
Oh, the pain!
My girl wailed and wept uncontrollably that period.
She was inconsolable and reasonably so, because she was so invested in the relationship.
We were all waiting for him to pop the question, and start wedding plans.
That was how serious the relationship was, at least to her.
Well, before the ‘ship’ hit an iceberg.
Ever since then, even before I got married, I’ve been committed to learning and identifying the signs someone may not be right for you in a relationship.
The knowledge has helped me and my friends to not entertain time-wasters in our subsequent relationships.
Today, I’ll be sharing the much I know with you, too.
You never know who might need it from you.
It’ll come in handy someday.
Without further ado, let’s get right to it.
What Happens In A Relationship That’s Headed Nowhere?
First, let’s address the pattern that plays out whenever a relationship is not headed anywhere.
One party doesn’t have to hurt the other for a relationship to take a downward spiral.
Once one of them senses or feels that the other isn’t right for them, it just happens.
And that’s where things get interesting.
For the context of this discourse, let’s call the couple, ‘senser’ and ‘sensee’.
The senser won’t want to tell the sensee about it for fear of hurting their feelings.
However, the sensee still feels that the relationship is going perfectly well, and invests more time, energy, resources, and emotions in the relationship.
Down the line, the sensee ends up getting more hurt than they could have been if the senser spoke up in the beginning.
What Can You Do On Finding Out That Someone May Not Be Right For You In A Relationship?
Have a discussion with your partner, and tell them that both of you are not good together.
You may or may not have any reasons to give to them, but make sure that it’s clear enough to them that you both can no longer be together.
Yes, you’ll feel bad, but don’t let your feeling bad get in the way of what you must do in order to not lead them on and waste each other’s time any further.
Give them a break as soon as you can.
That’s setting two of you free from a difficult breakup in the future.
Hopefully, they’ll deal with the hurt and disappointment, and move on from you as soon as possible.
How, then, do you know that someone may not be right for you in a relationship?
Keep reading to find out.
7 Signs Someone May Not Be Right For You In A Relationship
Outlined below are some signs someone may not be right for you in a relationship:
1. You don’t feel safe to express yourself to them
We all look forward to being in a relationship where we can talk about anything and everything with our partners without being judged.
In addition, you don’t want the things you tell your partner to be used as weapons against you in the future.
An ideal partner should be a safe space in whom you can confide.
So, one of the signs someone may not be right for you in a relationship is that you’re not comfortable with sharing things with them.
You just don’t feel safe enough to express how you feel or tell them things.
And that’s because you’re afraid that they might judge you or use it against you in the future.
Well, your fears are valid, especially if you’ve seen them do that to someone else, perhaps, one of the their friends.
But if it’s a longstanding fear you have, I have a piece of advice for you.
Everyone deserves a chance.
You can test them by telling them little things about yourself and see how they handle it.
The result should tell you what you need to know about confiding in them.
If they mess things up with the little information you gave them, then, you really have no business being with them.
2. They don’t consider your feelings
There are people who are inconsiderate towards the feelings of other people.
They feel that the world revolves around them and as such, every other person’s feeling is invalid.
Add that to them being extremely selfish.
Everything must go their way.
If not, there’ll be no peace.
Does this sound like your partner?
Yes?
Sad as it might sound, you can’t change that person for the better.
Well, except they realize that they’re on a wrong path, and want to change by themselves.
Anything apart from that will be wasted efforts on your part.
The best thing to do is end things with such person before you begin to lose yourself in the relationship.
3. They downplay your efforts
Just like the previous point, one of the signs someone may not be right for you in a relationship is if they belittle your efforts.
You invest time and energy into getting things done and instead of being appreciative of what you’ve done, they make it look like you didn’t do a lot.
They might even say that you’ve not done anything out of the ordinary.
You might hear statements like, ‘I mean, anyone could have done that.’
Not only are they downplaying your efforts, but they’re also insulting your intelligence.
What such a relationship does is take a toll on your confidence and self esteem.
The best way forward is to leave the relationship, no matter what your partner has to offer you.
I think that it’s better to be alone, and have your self-worth intact than to be in a relationship where you constantly question yourself, intelligence, and abilities.
That’s no way to live a fulfilling life, I must say.
4. They’re manipulative
At this point, I’ll state clearly that a manipulative person has no love in them.
So, don’t make the mistake of thinking that your being in a relationship with a manipulator will change them.
Laughs in mental health and self worth degradation.
Will it be surprising or shocking for you to find out that a manipulative person chose to be in a relationship with you, solely because they find you malleable enough?
Perhaps, they feel that you’re an easy catch for them, and they can get you to do their bidding with minimal effort.
They know just how to get you to do the things you don’t want to do.
They’ll most likely disguise it as trying to help you.
However, it’s just them getting you to do exactly what they want.
Are you in a relationship where you often find yourself doing the things that you don’t want to do?
You’re likely in a relationship with a manipulative person.
The advice I have for you?
RUN while you still can.
It’s more than enough reason to end a relationship.
That manipulator is definitely not right for you.
5. They’re always right
Someone can love you deeply, but not want to take any blame in your relationship.
Yes.
They never accept that they’re wrong and are fond of always shifting the blames to you.
You don’t have to get used to being blamed for both things that are and aren’t your fault.
Stop preparing yourself mentally every time there’s a problem for the impact of your partner’s blame shifting.
Stand your ground and speak up.
Let them have their own fair share of the blame whenever the fault is theirs.
Learn to stop taking the fall for them.
If they constantly refuse to take responsibility for the role they played in things going awry, it’s time to slowly detach from them.
There’s clearly no end in sight for such a horrible behavior.
It’s one of the signs someone may not be right for you in a relationship.
6. You feel it
The relationship might be looking perfect on the outside.
You’re not having any fights, arguments, or disagreements.
You look good together.
But deep down, something feels off.
You don’t feel at home with this person.
Sometimes, there’s no logical reason to the alarms our instinct pull on us.
Act on the instinct first.
The reason will show up sooner or later.
7. Your interests don’t align
You don’t have shared interests, visions, dreams, and goals.
Having interests that align with that of your partner is a very important aspect of a relationship.
It should never be neglected.
It truly takes two to tango.
You admire power couples who get things done and build empires together, right?
They achieved all of that in harmony.
That harmony came mainly from having similar goals, dreams, and aspirations.
To be honest, you can’t make headway in any relationship where you’re headed East while your partner is headed West.
There’ll always be clashes of interests, accusations of betrayal and selfishness, and other such negative traits.
I must warn that these ugly incidents will happen often in a relationship where the couple’s interests do not align.
And it can be draining to have a partner who you’re not on the same page with.
Even if that’s not the case, it’ll always appear like you’re both working against or sabotaging each other.
Pathetic!
Save yourself and them from constantly going through the trauma and agony by breaking things off with them.
