Can a marriage survive without love?
Hmmm!
The above question poses like an elephant in the room.
Many people have it on their minds, but are not bold enough to voice it out.
Perhaps, they’re scared of the answers lurking in the shadows.
I was running an errand sometime ago, and happened to listen in on the conversation of a group of ladies.
It seemed like they were discussing someone’s marriage, and wondering why the marriage had taken its trajectory at the time.
One of them suggested that there was no love in the marriage anymore, and that sparked an argument between them.
While some of them were of the opinion that marriages can survive without love, others were of a contrary opinion.
That conversation made me decide to delve into the topic and here we are.
So, let’s get right to it.
Can A Marriage Survive Without Love?
Before any other thing, I’ll like to point out that there’s no one-size-fits-all in marriage.
What it means is that every marriage is different and requires different recipes for both its success and failure.
That something works for a particular couple doesn’t mean that it’ll work for another.
It’s for this reason that everyone is advised to focus on their partner, figure out what works for them, and apply the same to their marriage.
Back to the question.
In my opinion, a marriage can survive without love.
But it depends largely on the purpose of the marriage.
Stay with me.
Different people get married for different reasons, and if love isn’t on the table initially when a couple signed the dotted lines, that marriage will most likely survive without love.
However, I can’t say the same about a marriage that came about because of the love the couple share.
So, you see?
Some marriages can survive without love, while some others can’t.
Is Staying In A Loveless Marriage Worth It?
If you’ve read up to this point, it either means that this topic resonates with you, or it aroused your curiosity so bad.
‘Can a marriage survive without love?’ has been asked aloud and in hushed tones more times than you can imagine across ages, tribes, races, and countries.
Some people feel that they have nothing else to hold on to when love fades in a marriage.
That’s a wrong mindset, however.
There are many other things that can keep a couple in a marriage that’s devoid of love.
Although some people quite agree and are willing to give a shot at such a marriage, some other people are packed up and ready to walk out the door.
Now, we’re going to see if staying in a loveless marriage is a worthy cause.
Let’s look at the pros and cons of staying in a marriage that’s devoid of love.
Pros
1. Friendship
One mistake people make when they hear the question, ‘can a marriage survive without love?’ is to assume that a loveless marriage automatically translates to a bitter and toxic marriage.
That sort of thinking is wrong on all levels.
Let’s assume that a marriage was built on love and the love fades along the way.
It doesn’t make the couple enemies, neither does it make them bitter towards each other.
They might not even notice the dwindling of the love between them early enough.
When they do, it might be too late to start patching things up.
In the absence of romantic love, a couple still has the friendship between them to fall back on.
They can remain good friends without any bad blood between them, and keep building their empire together.
2. Stability and security
In the absence of love between a couple, they can still benefit the stability and security that marriage offers.
Life is full of ups and downs, and we need people at every point.
Having a spouse to lean on for support whenever life starts life-ing can be such a huge relief.
Knowing that someone has your back and won’t let you go through the highs and lows alone gives you more than enough stability and security.
3. Commitment
Marriage, no matter the type and intent, is all about commitment.
Every couple is perpetually committed to each other, as they took a vow to stand by each other to the end.
So, it doesn’t matter if the butterflies no longer flutter in your stomach, and your heart doesn’t expand with warmth anymore when you see your spouse.
All you may need to remain in that marriage is your sense of commitment to your spouse and the marriage.
It’s all about working as a team to get things done, and being fulfilled in the fact that you have achievements together.
4. Companionship
Just like friendship, companionship is another advantage a couple can enjoy in a loveless marriage.
I mean, they’re used to, and can predict each other.
A couple knows each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
They enjoy and tolerate each other at the appropriate times, too.
So, it’s easier for them to put up with each other and stay together, irrespective of the presence or absence of love in the union.
5. Shared history and memories
In addition to point 4 above, a marriage is filled with good, bad, funny, and sad memories.
Of course, there are back stories that go with these memories.
An advantage of remaining in a loveless marriage is preserving and building on the shared history and memories between the couple.
Cons
1. Resentment
One of the disadvantages of staying in a loveless marriage is the birth of resentment.
There’ll be feelings that can’t be expressed in the absence of love.
When these feelings pile up inside for a long time to the point of overflow, they’ll look for an outlet.
Then, resentment is born.
From holding feelings back, someone will begin to resent their partner.
The presence of resentment in a marriage spells disaster for the marriage.
It’s only a matter of time before the center can no longer hold.
2. Emotional emptiness
If we’re being honest, remaining in a marriage that’s devoid of love leaves one with a feeling of emotional emptiness.
The absence of an emotional connection between a couple can make them feel lonely and isolated.
Deep down, they’ll yearn to have a deeper and more meaningful connection.
3. Pass up on opportunities for growth and self-development
Sometimes, being in a marriage that has no love can mean passing up on opportunities for growth and self-development.
It’s more like someone puts a pause on their life and stops evolving into a better individual.
Most times, growth is associated with change.
A marriage that’s without love can prevent one from having a full discovery of one’s self.
Now that we’ve explored the possible pros and cons of staying in a loveless marriage, what will it be for you?
Can a marriage survive without love?
What do you think?
Are there other pros and cons that you think should be on the lists?
Do let me know in the comments.
I’ll love to read from you.
