There are common relationship mistakes you should avoid, if you desire a wholesome and successful relationship.
Everyone has different perspectives of how their relationships should be.
Through the journey of searching for and being with the right person, we all make mistakes.
And while some mistakes are custom for different people, there are general mistakes that most people make.
This article aims to list and explain in details, these general mistakes.
It’ll be in your best interest to read to the end if you want to know what these mistakes are, and how you can avoid them.
7 Common Relationship Mistakes You Should Avoid
1. Not healing properly from previous relationships
One of the common relationship mistakes you should avoid is not taking the time to heal properly from your previous relationships before getting into a new relationship.
While some people are guilty as charged, it’ll be best to not get caught in that web. T
hey jump into new relationships right after the crash of the previous ones.
It might surprise you to know that there are people who end their existing relationship with the sole aim of starting up another one.
What happens is that they carry the wounds, fears, pains, and trauma from those former relationships into the new one.
As a result of not healing properly, they assume that their new partner is just like their ex, and treat them poorly.
That’s called trauma-dumping, and it’s not a fair way to treat a partner who is innocent and probably oblivious to their bad experiences with other people.
The best way to get into a new relationship is on a clean slate and with no baggage.
Ensure that old wounds have healed properly, the fears and pain from the past have faded completely, and you’re no longer traumatised whenever you remember your past experience.
Only then can you go into a new relationship and be able to give it your best shot.
But if you fly into a new relationship without addressing issues from the previous ones properly, you’ll likely fly out of it.
And the cycle continues.
2. Getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons
There are people who date for the sole purpose of settling down.
It can also be that they’re tired of being in talking stages with different people.
So, they make up their minds to stick to their next partner, no matter what.
That’s why you see them stay put in the relationship even when the red flags start flying about and are very clear to them.
However, this is a wrong approach for anyone who wants to be in a healthy and thriving relationship.
It doesn’t matter how many frogs a person has to kiss.
They don’t have to relent till they find their prince or princess charming.
Believe me, it’ll be worth the wait in the end.
But sticking with the wrong person for the wrong reasons is a recipe for disaster.
Someday, one or both of the people who are in such a relationship will have their fill and either leave, or take a drastic action.
3. Relying on your partner for your happiness
A piece of advice that I always have for both single and married people is to not depend on their partner for their happiness.
I know that one’s partner should make one happy to a great extent, but it’ll be unfair to expect that ALL of one’s happiness will come from one’s partner.
That sort of expectation can be exhausting and draining for the person who is at the receiving end.
Have a healthy relationship with other people – friends, family members, neighbours, colleagues, etc.
It’s also important to have personal hobbies – things that help you relax and cool off in your spare time.
Go on dates and hangouts with your own friends, and not the friends you have jointly with your partner.
You can also go on solo dates, if it works for you.
Do anything and everything that makes you happy, as long as it’s legitimate and won’t jeopardise your relationship.
4. Being too quick to commit
Committing too quickly in a relationship without having a good knowledge of the other person is one of the common relationship mistakes you should avoid.
It’s important for anyone who wants to get into a new relationship to take time to study and be acquainted with their intended partner.
Go out on dates with them and watch their behaviour.
Ask questions and assess their thought process.
See if you’re both compatible with each other, and on the same page about so many things.
For instance, find out if your visions and goals for the nearer and farther future align with each other.
Although you won’t learn everything about the person during that period, but it’ll help you determine if you’ll move on with or from the relationship.
Committing too early in a relationship might also make someone develop cold feet when they think about leaving, if they realise that they have no future with their partner.
I saw a movie about a lady who remained in a relationship with the wrong man for her longer than she should.
When she finally opened up to her friends about her predicament, she told them her reason for staying.
Wait for it…
She was concerned about leaving a relationship that became official only few months prior.
According to her, she didn’t want to add him to her list of growing exes.
5. Expecting your partner to always come through for you
Movies and fairytale stories did a number on some of us when it comes to thinking that our partner will always jump in to save the day for us.
Unfortunately, one of the common relationship mistakes you should avoid is thinking that your partner will solve all your problems.
That’s why you have family members, friends, colleagues, neighbours, and other people around you.
The importance of cultivating a healthy relationship with these people cannot be overemphasized.
Each of them has a role to play in your life, so, don’t go about dumping everything on your partner.
They have their own problems to solve too, and their lives to live.
Your partner should be able to help you out whenever and however they can.
However, you need to take full responsibility for your life.
You’re in full control, and should decide the way things turn out for you.
Stop sitting around waiting for your partner to run your life alongside theirs.
6. Not having your alone time
Having time alone to one’s self from time to time is very important for everyone.
Through the stress, hustle and bustle of life everyday, everyone needs some time off.
This time off enables us to relax, unwind, do some introspection, recharge, gather their thoughts, have a clear vision, and feel rejuvenated to face the world again.
You’ll go back to giving life your best shot and recording massive successes while at it.
But if you don’t think it wise to take these breaks and observe your alone time in between your regular schedule, it’ll affect your output in the long run.
Your relationship with your romantic partner, work, family, friends, and other people will take the gross fall for it.
7. Trying to control your partner
Do not try to control your partner.
Are you a remote control?
I guess not.
So, why are you trying to dictate to a fellow adult, how they should live their lives?
Before getting into that relationship with them, you probably saw them for who they are, and you had no problems with it.
Or could it be that you saw them as a project you can take on?
There’s nothing right about wanting to exert control over your partner.
Stop trying to force them to change.
To be honest with you, people rarely change, except they see the need for it.
It’s either you accept them for who they are, or you let them go.
Please note that there’s a great difference between pushing for a compromise and being controlling.
Understand the two and be guided on how you treat your partner.
